I can’t believe how quickly 2020 went and how quickly 2021 is going. Some days feel like they stretch on for an eternity, but overall, it really has gone so quickly.

The issue is that I feel like the nights go just as quickly and I’m definitely not getting enough sleep. I’m exhausted all the time, literally falling asleep sitting in a chair during the day, but the moment I lay down at night.. nothing. My brain literally goes into HYPERDRIVE and I think about anything that has every happened in my life, anything that I’ve ever dreamed of happening, anything that could happen, and things that will never happen. It’s always a new adventure and it always has the same conclusion.

Exhaustion.

I don’t know what the solution is because I know that I cannot take any kind of sleep aid or I’ll lose my job in the first week. They don’t always work on me, but when they do work, they work and I die for 12+ hours. I don’t have that kind of time to sleep, usually not even really on weekends, so that’s definitely not a possibility. Aside from that, I really have no idea what kind of solve I would be looking at.

I don’t want to be sent for a sleep study, because those things give me such anxiety, that it won’t even accurately report what is going on with me. So it’s a lose/lose. But I know that something has got to give, or else my body will and I cannot afford a total shutdown.

Please sleep-hoarding goblins, just give me a little bit. Just a taste of it, on a more consistent basis. I beg of you.