Lately, I find myself disenchanted with the things I used to enjoy. Video games, movies, books.. just everything. I don’t know if it’s because I feel like I don’t have enough time to enjoy these things (I sort of don’t?) or if I’m just not able to enjoy things anymore.
The magic of friendship in games keeps fading, though I have found a small group of people I adore. It’s just hard to feel like I have time to play with them.
I can’t read books because I can’t find a moment of peace to even try to read, and audiobooks seem hard to come by without paying a small fortune. (Anyone use Audible? Worth?)
I don’t have space to do any of my crafting hobbies, really. But I feel like I could potentially build myself space here, if I found my motivation. But it’s just easier to say, “No, I think I’ll wait til we move and have more space.” but I don’t know when that’s going to happen.
My life is an endless loop of procrastination.. even with the things I enjoy. It’s bizarre and probably a large contributor to my overall sour mood with life lately.
Some might call that depression, which sure, it’s likely there and playing its part. But, there’s got to be more. I spend so much of my time telling myself that I don’t have time, that it ends up coming true because I’ve spent all that time going on about it in my own head. If I’d just do whatever I’m saying I don’t have time to do, I’d have time to do it!
Being a complex human being is hard. I don’t think I like it much.